Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
