never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I can't put those talents on a resume
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
