Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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