Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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