How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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