You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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