Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
