So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
