Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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