It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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