Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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