I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
