but the lizard people decide everything anyway
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
