nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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