I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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