I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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