I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
