my text book just quoted the cookie monster
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
