yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize
