Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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