Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
it's like iHOP with fire
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Randomize