return my video game
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
It's blow job season.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
