dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
