I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Send help, water and tortillas.
i think my cat just said my name.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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