anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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