She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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