Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry bigbuck453 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(320): View more from Minnesota

For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.

Fav 19 1689 4380
share tweet
(856): View more from New Jersey

there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.

Fav 28 4579 1808
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(703): View more from Virginia

I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.

Fav 6 3797 1386
share tweet
(203): View more from Connecticut

And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?

Fav 8 1099 2924
share tweet
(417): View more from Missouri

In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.

Fav 9 3102 1223
share tweet
(949): View more from California

Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.

Fav 4 2622 1006
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(336): View more from North Carolina

you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?

(828): View more from North Carolina

Sobriety and mild self-respect

Fav 5 1707 929
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(514): View more from Quebec

Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.

Fav 3 812 369
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(317): View more from Indiana

QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES

Fav 0 38 4
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT