I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
