we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
he just fucked me for my cheese.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
