I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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