He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
