Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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