Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.

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(317): View more from Indiana

Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"

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(812): View more from Indiana

I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.

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(707): View more from California

is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??

(408): View more from California

your beer goggles are on backwards.

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(801): View more from Utah

Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know

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(620): View more from Kansas

SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.

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(907): View more from Alaska

I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.

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