we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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