I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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