Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
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he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
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You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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