Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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