The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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