...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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