so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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