Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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