Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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