Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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