Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
So much Jack, so little girl.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
