genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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