I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Is Oprah even human
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
