I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
