new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
