Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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