Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
