It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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