Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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