The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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