Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
