I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
