They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
