dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
