Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

we made out on top of his cat.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".

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(609): View more from New Jersey

So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.

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(952): View more from Minnesota

I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(

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(518): View more from New York

Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair

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(803): View more from South Carolina

We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.

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(315): View more from New York

She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking

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