Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have

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(703): View more from Virginia

We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.

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(903): View more from Texas

Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe

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(928): View more from Arizona

I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"

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(515): View more from Iowa

In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.

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(989): View more from Michigan

Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?

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(813): View more from Florida

How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?

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