I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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