If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
