is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
