Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
